Tag Archives: self
I’ll be frank as I have been in all of my bog posts. Self love has been a core issue in my life. It is still something I work on even as I write this. For a long time, I didn’t posses much self love at all, because truthfully I was in a place emotionally I didn’t feel I deserved it. This has been one of my biggest ego hooks. Now that I have been set on the path of my life purpose working with the angels and guides to uplift and inspire others and assist in the process of removing the blocks to the love that exists within people; I know that I was meant to have the experiences I created in my life, so that I can relate to others who may be experiencing the same.
Letting go, being gentle with myself and being silly haven’t really been easy for me, not since childhood, but my angels and guides continue to help me understand that fun and play are not just something to do for the simple pleasure of it, but that acts of self-love, pleasure and fun are vital to leading a balanced and joyous life. I have found a common theme amongst clients that I work with; people carry a significant amount of guilt over allowing ourselves to let loose, have fun, be silly relax ect. We condition our minds often unconsciously to believe that life is hard, we must work all hours to be successful.
We convince ourselves that there isn’t enough time in the day to get important tasks done. We believe we must work hard to “get some result “out there” that we think will make us happy,
We set high standards for ourselves and then when we don’t feel we meet out goal, we sit in judgement, we blame ourselves and we create a type of hamster effect where we’re always in search of the elusive next result, and we certainly forget to love ourselves in the process.
I’ve made a pact with myself to be silly at least once a day, I also set aside time everyday to honour myself – no matter how busy I am or what my deadlines are. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t easy especially on the nights that I feel I should keep working. It takes effort, but I’ve spent years doing the opposite. I already know that doesn’t work! The more I can show myself forgiveness and compassion, the happier I feel. And if I treat myself with respect, I will attract people who will treat me the same way.
For most of my life I believed saying no to someone was selfish, that somehow by saying no I wasn’t being spiritual or in the act of saying no I was giving up the chance to be of service to someone or something. This in turn lead to feelings of guilt, an endless spiral of blaming myself or feeling bad for something I’d perceived I’d done “wrong,” I worried endlessly that saying “no” somehow made me a bad person. Especially if energetically I felt that the other person expected or needed me to say yes. Then, I felt had no choice but to swallow my feelings and agree to what was being asked of me:
1) Because deep down I love helping people, it is so important to me to be of service to others.
2) Because I just couldn’t bear the thought of hurting or disappointing anyone – even people I didn’t know.
3) Because I was afraid to set boundaries. I wanted people to like and approve of me
I had heard people speak about “owning your power” constructively, but I think I was too polite and soft – too much of a people-pleaser
to understand the difference between stepping into assertive power with kindness versus being afraid of becoming hard, mean, bitter and abusive of my personal power when using it with other people.
In the last year, I have been on a deeply personal journey learning to accept myself for who I am, learning to embrace my psychic and intuitive gifts as part of my life purpose and my true calling. Each is a process including learning to be comfortable saying “no” to certain people or situations. I am learning that sometimes saying no is the most loving thing to be done. I’ve learned that I am not serving with pure intention and love if I say I will do something,, but deep down feel uncomfortable. That uncomfortable feeling is my intuition speaking up and telling me something doesn’t feel right.
Sometimes saying “no” is an act of self-care, and your intuition will tell you the difference between whether it is time to walk away from a situation completely versus whether it is simply time for you to stay the course, face your fear step out of your comfort zone. If you take the time to sit and stillness and get in touch with your genuine feelings, the answer will come to you. I recently had an opportunity where I needed to say no. It wasn’t an easy decision because I haven’t said no to many things personally or professionally. This particular situation gave me the unmistakable message I needed to walk away. My personal energy was depleted, I didn’t feel positive about the project in question, I wasn’t being treated with respect, and ultimately the clients highest good wasn’t being served the way things stood. Saying no in this case was an act of love, done in the best interest of all with kindness and compassion.
Self help literature and medical science alike have been linking mind, body and spirit together for decades. I believe every human on the planet would benefit from allowing affirmations into their daily life.
Carol Bernette was once quoted as saying: “Only I can change my life, no one else can do it for me.”
This is such a powerful statement I needed to be a darkly place, before I was willing to allow affirmative prayers and affirmative statements into .my daily spiritual practice. Not that I never used affirmations, mind you, but I wasn’t consistent about it by any stretch. Many times, I would say the words, but energetically underneath the phrases, I really didn’t believe what I was saying. Therefore, I was resisting the love and the true essence behind the words. Furthermore, if my affirmations were not achieving the results I wanted in the time frame I had predetermined in my mind; I would use that as evidence that things were not working, and I would proceed to beat myself up over it. This is all an ego trip, and I can fall into it even today if I am not vigilant in creating my thoughts. Yes, you read right, I said creating my thoughts. When I talk to others about how they are doing with their affirmation work, I’m comforted in the knowledge that as humans we all struggle with the idea that we have the power to create out thoughts, that we are not simply passive participants in our lives. This can be a hard concept to grasp, especially when you consider that we all are equally capable of creating situations that we clearly do not want, yet on an unconscious level and we live with these circumstances because they stem from a base belief we have carried since childhood or picked elsewhere up along the way. We all want to believe we would never create an unwanted desire, unconscious or not.
Once we are able to accept that we create our experiences (this is a moment to moment acceptance, not just an hourly or a daily one – then we become truly empowered. I’ve been a “fix” personality most of my life. My intuition and my sensitivity (when I I choose not to stand in my power, but rather latch on to the idea that something “out there” perceived by my ego mind has power over me – caused me to take on the fear, pain and suffering of others without even being aware I was taking it on. Several years before I began my coaching practice, I would have told you I felt completely alone in how I felt. Now however, I know that many others share the same feelings a had. I’ve also been giving the blessing of knowing that every experience I have ever had, every emotion I have ever felt can now support someone who is feeling something similar as we are all one. I spoke before of being a “fixer” my sensitivity made me acutely aware of energies, emotions and feelings even if I didn’t fully comprehend what I was picking up on. This also gave me an intense desire to take away pain and suffering, to fight to solve “problems” even to my own detriment. This placed me in a position to understand what it means to have an obsessive desire to please. This tension filled energy is all about control. It’s about going out and getting fixing and solving. It’s a trap so many of us can unknowingly fall into. In our desire to get, have, achieve and make things happen, we hold on so tight we stand in direct opposition to what we want.
The key to using affirmations is gentle willingness. I have found it helpful to use the word willing in my affirmations, especially if whatever it is I am holding the intention to create something I might feel is slightly out of my reach. Willingness creates belief. In other words, even if you don’t fully believe, but you have the will to believe coupled with trust in spirit to do the work for you, and the patience to wait for divine timing. That is enough. This is the gentle love the beloved has for each and every one of us. Gentle willingness allows me to relax a lot more, and has really taken the pressure off my personal spiritual practice. Here are some affirmations that have created shifts for me. I share them with the intention that they assist you to create shifts for you as well. I want to preface that using affirmations does not mean simply “Be positive” even in the most horrendous of situations. This is a common misconception, and once that I didn’t understand when I began inviting spirit into my life. No human being should expect themselves to make sunshine and rainbows out of something that feels like it sucks. Likewise, being negative about everything isn’t authentic either. The true essence in inner work is the individual process of being willing and receptive to uncovering the underlying lesson and the love within any situation.
I am willing to receive the lessen and the love in Name specific situation. It is done. Sometimes when people begin affirmation work being specific about a desire they have feels too unbelievable for them. If someone is wanting to create more financial abundance but to start a specific figure feels too intimidating in these situations, I have found it best to go much more general/ I am open to new and creative possibilities for abundance thank you. I am worthy of receiving abundance in all ways. And so it is. Try it and remember to be gentle with yourself
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