Tag Archives: A Course In Miracles

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How I Received A Message About Loving Myself When I took My Dog To The Vet

The metaphysical Spiritual Text “A Course in Miracles” The course teaches that all fear and suffering comes from investing in a learned identify, a false self that is invested in separation and pain. The truth of what we are actually has no identity with the physical body.

What we are is Love in its purest form. When we aren’t in alignment with that, we experience guilt (whether conscious or unconscious), pain and suffering. Everything we experience can be witnessed through fear which is never the truth, or Love which is always the truth. Everything in our life can be used to strengthen, our awareness of love. Our experiences can also be used to strengthen our investment in the false sense of self. My recent trip to the vet with my dog was a beautiful example of the contrast of the false identity and the stillness, the knowing that comes when we choose to rest in Love.

I have a beautiful dog, She is an absolute blessing in my daily life. She is a wonderful reminded of the present moment and the choice we all have control over. The choice to be happy no matter what appears to be going on. While it is true she doesn’t enjoy bath time, she doesn’t spend any time dwelling on past bathing mishaps, or anticipating future ones. Yes, she doesn’t like having baths (and she has a way of letting me know she disapproves), but when the time comes she accepts it for what it is, .Emily is a teacup Yorkie, full of joy and love. Every year I put money aside to have her teeth cleaned.

My vet has been telling me for the past several years that Yorkshire Terriers as a breed are known to have “bad teeth.” I’ve explored many alternatives over the years as options to care for her teeth. Before I had begun my journey working with angels and studying A Course In Miracles, Emily’s vet visits were a source of massive anxiety for me. Each time she went for her annual cleaning I would worry about the possibility of my sweet dog potentially losing teeth.

In September, Emily turned the earthy age of 8 (though her spirit is always youthful. On March 13th, she had her annual teeth cleaning. I asked the Angels to be with Emily throughout the checkup and cleaning, and I asked for the highest good to be done. I released everything to the care of God & I went about my day more relaxed then any previous appointments. Several hours later I received a call from the vet saying that Emily’s 6 tiny front teeth were diseased, and needed to be removed.

In my mind I immediately went to guilt. “What could I have done to prevent this?” “What could I have done to take better care of Emily?” “What could I have done to make it so she wasn’t facing this situation in the first place?” I even felt myself feeling defensive at some of the vet’s questions.

I’ll be honest, I felt very uncomfortable, and I was very aware of my discomfort since my spiritual practice has granted me so much peace, and a willingness to go with the flow of life in the awareness that my true identity is not what I see “out there” in terms of a body that experiences problems and conflict.

I wasn’t feeling peaceful when the vet called me though. I stayed feeling discomfort for several hours which felt very unusual. I am now much more comfortable aligned with Love, so anything that isn’t peace actually feels intolerable. During the vet experience I felt really guilty.  A Course In Miracles teaches that “Guilt is always insane.” So, I chose to take that insanity and look at it with Spirit.

I know from working the principals of A Course In Miracles that discomfort only comes up to be observed with love. Observing something un-judgementally allows it be released and exchanged for true perception. 

I wasn’t seeing myself with true perception while I was stuck in the guilt and the Self-blame. All I was seeing was the effects of my judgement. Once I was ready to look at my guilt and feel it n all of its ickiness I became open enough to embrace a miracle and be willing to accept a shift in perception.

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I talked with Spirit and the Angels about everything I was feeling, my extreme discomfort, my bewilderment that this whole experience was bothering me so much.

I even looked at my frustration with myself for feeling so frustrated (LOL).  

It was then that I received the intuitive message that Emily losing these teeth was an agreement that had already been made on a Soul level, there was never anything I could do to change anything that occurred, and by being willing to authentically look at what was coming forward, I was able to transform the entire experience from one full of fear, to one exploding with Love.  

Once I was able to let go of the guilt, I was able to see and recognize so many other miracles that had occurred around the entire situation. I had been asking Spirit to look after everything for me, and Spirit had done just that, Emily was given tremendous loving care. Her vet bill invoice was printed at 1:11 which in Angel Numerology means “Your thoughts are manifesting, stay positive!”

Miraculously, the vet was inspired to remove several charges from the bill for Emily’s care as a gift. There is no doubt in my mind that God and the Angels were behind the gift of financial savings.

Emily is doing wonderfully, there was no ideal as far as she is concerned, to her, she hadn’t lot anything, and she has no attachment to those teeth whatsoever!
Emily taught me so much about an attachment I was hanging on to, and still placing belief into.  I call her my “Little Angel Dog” and she truly is.  She helped me look at areas where I wasn’t choosing for complete innocence.  What a gift!

 I’d love to hear from you, if this blog resonates with you.  Feel free to share your personal experiences in the comments below!

Love Deedre

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Asking For What You Want

There was a time in my life prior to my exposure to A Course In Miracles; when I once believed that being a “good” spiritual person, meant waiting for God to deliver whatever I desired.  I thought my faith was demonstrated by how patiently I waited, how much I prayed, or made sacrifices by placing my needs below those of others. I acted as though God was some mysterious force outside of me, that knew what I wanted without my asking.  I treated God as an entity I looked to for guidance, but I had no idea of my power as a creator.   So years would pass and nothing would change.  I convinced myself I must be doing something wrong (listening to fear).   It wasn’t until I registered in Lisa Natol’s A Course In Miracles  40 Day Transformation program, while I was engaging in one of the homework assignments that it finally hit me.   All that time, I had been WAITING for what I wanted to show up!  I hadn’t actually been specific in ASKING for what I wanted. I hadn’t really ASKED with purpose.  I had only truly manifested anything in my life because the desire for it was much bigger than my fear of not receiving,  Yes. I had co-created desires  before, but never with quite as much purpose, always indirectly without having  clear knowledge about how to tangibly create my reality with Spirit.  I studied the Law Of Attraction, but my belief in myself and my abilities as a creator didn’t match my desires.

Socially, we often pick up these limiting beliefs that it is selfish to ask for what we want.  We buy into those limited fear-based  beliefs encapsulated in the roles we choose to take on, so that we can play small.  True spiritual growth comes from being willing to go to deep places of self examination, and admit to ourselves that we get something out of littleness.  Admit we’re actually afraid to be great.  It is confronting to learn to accept that we are the creators of our own reality,  I can honestly say, there have been days where I have thought “WTF-ever, I didn’t create this!!! I’m not taking responsibility!  Forget that!!”  Yet, every time I really commit to the inner work of truly and deeply looking, I would find, that yes I did create it, or it wouldn’t be my reality  I can choose to stay in littleness and, continue to beat myself up over my creation choices, or I can choose magnitude; ask for the miracle, receive a shift in perception, and awaken as a result of that shift given from Spirit.

I want to share with you a story of how I was guided to the place which I am currently living.  I want to share it, because for me,  it has not only been a powerful example of Divine Intervention, but it is also a practical example illustrating that physical miracles are not metaphorical. they are God’s true gift for all of us.  I am not special.  Everyone is entitled to experience miracles.  This is a right bestowed upon all of us by God.

 

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I had been searching for a new place to live, and each place I looked at,  just didn’t feel right energetically. I had a list of things I knew I wanted to have in my new place,   One night, I sat in meditation and I asked God, my Angels & Guides to help me visualize the new location where I would live.  I saw in my minds eye a brightly lit suite, with beautiful white walls, white appliances, wooden linoleum floors and, a full bathroom with a bathtub.

 

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A few days later while browsing online rental listings, I saw the photos of the place I had seen in my meditation.  I laughed immediately filled with intuitive knowing that this would be my new home.  

When I called the landlady to see about the suite, we had a lovely conversation.  she even remarked that I sounded as if I would be a wonderful tenant.  Next came the part where I mentioned I had a very small dog, one that would fit in a purse I asked if they had a pet policy?  She preceded to tell me that they really didn’t want to have someone with a pet.    As I was listening to her speak, I heard the voice of Spirit in my mind guide me to gently let go of any attachment I had to getting the suite.  So, I thanked her very much for her time, and for considering me, and said goodbye.  I caught myself in a fleeting moment of feeling like I might have lost something wonderful, and immediately remembered my intuitive knowledge that this was to be my new place.  I also remebered the promise I had made with Spirit to let go of attachment.  I didn’t think about the suite again until a week and a half or so later, when the landlady responded to one of my previous emails stating they were going to be having an open house and inviting me to come take a look at the suite.  When I reminded her that I was the woman she had spoken to on the phone – the one with the very small dog –  she exclaimed she was very happy I had responded because she had spoken with her husband, and they were now willing to allow my dog.  They were even willing to accommodate my viewing the suite on a different day than was planned which worked better with my schedule.  

In addition to all of this,  on the same day I had the appointment to view the suite I received all the resources I needed to secure my tenancy there.  When I arrived to view the suite, the landlady informed me more than once that she would have to check the references I provided her.  I encouraged her to do exactly as she needed to do.  I wanted them both tot know I was honest, authentic and upfront.  We continued our walk through as she pointed out potential flaws and “problems” that might cause me to rethink choosing to live there.  

I told her everything looked wonderful, trusting beyond anything I was seeing with my bodies eyes, leaving behind any doubt and trusting my intuitive knowing that this was the next place I would be living.

 

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The landlady told me she would be in touch with me in a few days with her decision.  As I was leaving the driveway, the landlady cane into view waving her arms to stop the car.  She said she no longer wished to check my references, and if I wanted the suite, it was mine to take!  “This is God!”  I thought.  Observing the synchronicity as everything unfolded – I was reminded of what my beautiful friend Lisa Natoli teaches “God is never late, and when something is truly meant to be yours there is nothing that can stand in the way of it coming to fruition.”.  The move I practice co-creating  with God, the more I learn the importance of asking.   Being specific about the desire.  Knowing what you want, and being unapologetic in asking for it.  Letting go of all attachment  and completely trusting that everything will come – even if that means the desire comes in a different way than the images or ideas preconceived in your mind.  Being willing to accept whatever happens, and being open to receive what comes, because it will come.  When you place an order, God always delivers with perfect timing!

Love, Deedre xo

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You Are Beautiful

I haven’t blogged in a long while.  I’m the type of person that needs to feel very passionate and moved to speak before I will venture out and say anything.  I haven’t felt called to blog in recent months, not because there isn’t a plethora of topics to write about, rather, I’m always thinking about content – something that might hold some meaning, or speak to the heart.

We humans are very critical of our earthly costumes.  When I say costume, I mean our physical bodies.  The container that is the wrapper of our Soul.  This physical body container is not who we really are, yet the human condition of the world we “see” with the body’s physical eyes creates the illusion that the physical body is our identity.

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If you are reading this right now, I want to share with you that you ARE beautiful.  Exactly as you are, right NOW!  You are beautiful and perfect, BECAUSE of your  essence.  You do not need to “fix,” “force” or “be happy when…” you make some external change  to the the physical body container.  (Diet, exercise, clothing, cosmetics, acquiring all the right “worldly possessions,” or even “earning a certain income”, or having a certain “specific goal.” Beauty has no gender, no “ideal” shape or size.  Beauty isn’t measured by standards or rules of conformity. The latter, are all ego concepts based on separation.   True beauty is the Divine Light that shines brightly within everyone.  It is knowing that you are not your past or your future.  It is knowing that LOVE is who you are, and LOVE is what you extend forward while having a physical experience here in the world.

Beauty is not something to achieve. outside, because we already have it within.  Often we’ve just covered our light with a muddy film – because we’ve forgotten who we are.  We unconsciously choose to “see”/create flaws, that are illusion.  In truth, there is only perfection. This is something I continue to accept.

Your worth is established by God.  NOTHING can change this.”

-A Course In Miracles

While there’s nothing “wrong” with diets and self-improvement techniques of various kinds, the root of true beauty & self esteem comes from learning to accept yourself exactly as you are in the NOW.

Like Lady Gaga’s fabulous song “Born This Way,” demonstrates:

“I’m beautiful in my way
‘Cause God makes no mistakes
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don’t hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you’re set
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way.”

Love, Deedre

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Never Underestimate Your Unique Impact

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A Few weeks ago I had some beautiful friends, Julia & Kianna come to visit me.  In that time loving forces brought us the gift of a unique experience  that began with a trp to the post office.  My friend offered to drop off a package for me which was a great help since at this moment I’m currently not driving a car.  I googled tha address to the postal outlet and wrote the address on a slip of paper.  Off my friend went, saying she would be back after she made an extra stop at the grocery store to pick up some food.  While she was away, her daughter and I began preparation for dinner.

 More and more time passed  until my friend had been gone well over an hour and a half.  My intuition told be she had taken a detour and lost her way.  I sent her a text message and she confirmed my intuition was on target.  A few seconds later my phone rings. I hear a man’s voice introducing himself, and my friends laughter like music to the background of our introduction

“Hi Deedre, my name is David Boulder I’m here with your friend who has taken a wrong turn and she’s been telling me what n amazing person you are.”

David continued to tell me he worked at Strathcona lodge,  He explained that my friend had told him a little about the physical disability and he was instantly passionate about my friends & I joining him on a forest tour to see a waterfall.  What David doesn’t know, is that I have been spending time in nature all summer as a result of loving guidance from my angels.  So, when I was introduced to David, and the opportunity to see the waterfall presented itself, I knew this was a journey the angels had creates for all of us .  I embraced the opportunity with open arms not knowing what would come of it but knowing that my intuition was leading the way.

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The following afternoon my friends and I began our journey into the forest.  The drive out to the lodge was interesting.  Road signs were not clearly marked, since the trip was a bit of a distance from my home, and because this adventure started with misunderstood directions, I asked the angels to help guide us to our destination.  When we met up with David he warmly introduced himself with a smile.  He asked if I was prepared for what was to come, and I said “absolutely!”

He smiled as if acknowledging I was unaware what I had agreed to – and he was right, I didn’t know exactly what to expect, but I had already decided to trust in the experience as much as I possibly could.

I’ve always shared with anyone who shared an interest to know that the physical trappings of living with Cerebral Palsy looks far worse n terms of outward appearance than it actually feels to live with it.  This has always been my truth.

In my heart I have never felt like the projection of my body is the real me.

 This makes sense, because in spiritual truth no one is defined by the body  At times I have really struggled with how I have felt the eyes of the world see me especially because the way things look with me is not the real me.  Many moments in my life I was seeking acceptance from the outside world never feeling as though I belonged.  I bring this up because it relates to our journey into the forest.  In addition to physical challenges appearing very difficult for me to someone on the outside looking in.  I move differently expend more energy, and it takes me more time to accomplish physical tasks than the average person.

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On the day during our walk through the forest, I was using my walker to navigate my way.  David and my friends were extremely compassionate, helping me over difficult parts of the trails with large roots, tree stumps, steep train and other obstacles.  This involved a great deal of patience and a willingness on their part to go as slowly as I needed, and take as many rest breaks as I required.

 This sounds like an easy task, but our world has conditioned us to be “fast”, to get things done, to want things instantly.  The physical experience of my body has been one of patience.

I do have to take my time, but as I have said, have always felt it looks worse than it is.  I’m not in pain, and I can take breaks or sometimes do things a bit differently,

My friends and I took the time to talk about the beauty of nature   David taught us about the history of the area, tips on how to survive  if lost in the wilderness.  We even started a fire using some pitch.  After about 2 hours we reached the waterfall.  The beauty of it was stunning to me.  I sat on a nearby bench, closed my eyes, and absorbed the peaceful sound of the water crashing down its slop.  I silently thanked the angels for guiding me here,  I heard the smile in David’s voice, as he advised me to take my time and enjoy what he called  my version of Mount Everest. I felt deeply connected to spirit, and profoundly grateful.


Later that weekend, my friend Julia shared with me that our journey through the woods was a kind of awakening for her.  She shared that the experience taught her that human beings with our perceived frailties take things for granted, and that the experience of witnessing me during our walk taught her the importance of letting people be who they are in every sense of the word.  Allowing people to go at their own pace I’n every facet of life whether it be personal or professional, assisting them only in those times when support is accepted unconditionally.  Julia said the experience was profound for her, with subtle lessons she would apply to her business.  As we went on this walk, I had not been thinking at all about my influence – I was simply focused in the moment enjoying the journey.  

I think many of us simply move through our lives without realizing the wonderful impact we can all have on other souls, and the planet just by existing,  We are all unique creatures with gifts to offer each other, yet the ego will  be so quick to have us undervalue those gifts.  I think we all need constant reminders to never underestimate our impact, Each of us are blessings to each other.

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You Are Not Your Body

A few weeks ago I had a moment where I felt as though I was being judged.  An exchange occurred, and a comment was made in passing in reference to something physical about me.  The actual comment are not relevant, but I felt called to blog about this because so many of us can  feel judged by others, judged by something outside of ourselves, even judged by God.

Judgement is always an illusion of fear, to keep us stuck, to hold us back, to keep us playing small.

The experience prompted me to do some soul-searching and investigate why I felt judged.  First.I allowed myself to react to my feelings, and my perception of the “judgement” Then I went to the text of “A Course In Miracles. next, the teachings of Abraham Hicks, and I  asked the angels for guidece,  What I received  was a knowing that in truth there is no judgement.  Judgement is not real.  This was hard for me to accept at first, because for me, when I felt as though my physical body was being judged that felt very vividly painful/  I felt as though the comment was cutting straight to the core of every flaw I’d ever felt about my body.  It brought up feelings that I wasn’t good enough, that these apparent flaws implied there was something wrong with me.  I felt instantly unattractive, my spirit sunk as I began to wonder if people really saw me as something that needed to be fixed as  I felt these comment suggested.

Was I really something that just needed to be fixed?

Make no mistake, the person involved had no malicious intent, in fact, I’m sure they felt their comment was harmless. People are often completely unaware of the power their words can have when they speak.   In the moment though,  this comment brought up every feeling I’ve ever had about my body, being viewed by other people as different, unattractive, and unlovable.  It wasn’t even the words spoken, it was the implication that because something looked “abnormal” there was something wrong with me that needed improvement.  I didn’t like been seen like this, because it didn’t feel accurate at all

The angels let me know that when we feel judged by others, this is a sign that something doesn’t match up with our true selves, our spiritual essence, our truth.    This is why we feel pain, because our true self our higher self only  celebrates what is loving and wonderful about us.  There are no real “flaws” nothing that needs to be “fixed.”  When we feel judged by others, we know something s off.  we are also judging ourselves.  It’s a sign we are placing too much weight on the opinions of other people and not giving ourselves enough self-love.

This took the focus completely away from the comments that initially pushed forward my feelings,  It brought the focus away from anything external including the other personality.    It  brought things right back to center –  back within.  The only person who has power over my feelings is me.  I can choose to let one person’s perception of my physical body bother me, or I can choose the truth I know.

 I have chosen come into a body that deals with some challenges to learn important lessons spiritually;   I know it looks a heck of a lot worse to an outside bystander than it actually feels for me..  I am so much more than my body, and deep down I love the person that I am,  I try on a daily basis not to focus on my illusion of “flaws.”  It isn’t always easy, that is the journey.  I try to focus on being the best person I can be.  I make the choice to be of service to others and to the world.

I consider it a personal mission to help people feel connected to the loving essence present in everything.  Once we are aware of this love and it’s power, we become acquainted with how wonderful we really are.  Potential becomes  limitless, and miracles occur everywhere.  This is why working with angels is my calling.

Not long after this experience where I felt judged, I was at the health food store getting groceries I met a lady there who kindly helped me pack my buggy,  She asked me during the course of our conversation, what physical condition I was dealing with.  When I told her Cerebral Palsy, she was visibly shocked, and went on to explain that fro her perspective a person could not tell it was so mild which is why she asked.

I knew this was the angels way of showing me an example of how the same thing cam be perceived differently.  One experience was completely out of alignment with the truth of who I am, which is why I felt the pain of illusion judgement.

Lesson 31 in A Course In Miracles says:

I am not the victim of the world I see.”

We are certainly not, since we create our own reality.  These two closely linked incidents were powerful teachers that I wanted to share.  May they shed light for all of you who read this.

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The Art Of Surrender

Surrender and release have been an area of great challenge and development for me. As I continue to work with the angels – I am learning more and more that this is an area many of us struggle with. The idea of trying to “go out there and make things happen” is so common in the world today. As I really examine my life and past decisions I made I realize that I liked to feel in control. Always in pursuit of the elusive “Next thing.”

I’ll be happy when I have that good grade or job,” I’ll be happy when I make more money. I’ll be happy when so and so reacts this way or that way in response to me. I’ll feel loved when Fill in the blank.

Before I began my work with angels and my study of “A Course In Miracles.” I really had no concept of this idea that in this world of form, we’re living amid this concept of the split mind. The ego, the voice of fear identifies us as a body that is separate from spirit, love, truth, divinity, the part of us that is eternally love.

I came to a place I realized I had been spending most of my existence feeling bad about the past, blaming myself for things I couldn’t change (things that ultimately were blessings and learning opportunities that got me to the place I am in today). If I wasn’t feeling bad about the past, I was obsessively worried about the future. What would happen next? what did things mean? What if I made another huge mistake? Where was the next money going to come from? Worry worry worry. The fear was so big, I couldn’t focus on anything else. I was either stuck in the past, depressed and miserable, or trapped in an endless cycle thinking no matter what my goal was – I would somehow mess it up. I wanted to plan out as much as I could, because in my planning – I thought was my influence over the outcome. My grip on the future so tight, there was no joy to the process or the journey at all. I was never at peace.

Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.”

– A Course In Miracles.

Learning to let go has been one of my most challenging lessons. Often my ego likes to manipulate me into believing that holding some influence or control over outcomes gives me freedom and power in my life. The opposite is true. The more relaxed and detached I can remain in any situation, the more I trust that something much larger than me, my angels, divine energy is not only working on my behalf, but knows my true desires even better than do. The more at peace I am.  The beauty is, I can have absolutely no idea what will happen in a given situation, and still feel at peace because I can choose to trust.

Surrender and release is a daily practice. I can tell you with absolute certainty I haven’t achieved perfection with it. which isn’t the underlying message of surrender. It isn’t like you suddenly wake up knowing how to let go. For me it has been about learning to trust the spirit within, learning  NOT  to push aside fear when it comes up. Rather than looking at my fears as a weakness, choosing to embrace each experience of it – including the discomfort. Channeling that fear into prayer for the highest good has helped me find peace in many situations This has allowed me to release my preconceived ideas of what I think it is I need or want – and accept that spirit always has a brilliant plan for me.

The angels lovingly say surrender & release does not mean “giving up” on dreams or desires. It simply means allowing ourselves to let go of the struggle and pain, knowing that with faith and trust the most favorable outcome will come through and present itself.

As long as I have the willingness to trust, I can relax into any situation – even those that have results which are the opposite of what I thought I wanted.  I have the power to transform even a “crappy” situation into a blessing.  The only factor that can change is the openness with which I am willing to tap into that power.  Some days I am willing, other days, I am not.  How about you?

There is always a blessing in every situation – even if it takes time to recognize the blessing it’s there, waiting  to meet with willingness to receive it.