Tag Archives: care

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The Importance Of Self Love

I’ll be frank as I have been in all of my bog posts.  Self love has been a core issue in my life.  It is still something I work on even as I write this.  For a long time, I didn’t posses much self love at all, because truthfully I was in a place emotionally I didn’t feel I deserved it.  This has been one of my biggest ego hooks.  Now that I have been set on the path of my life purpose working with the angels and guides to uplift and inspire others and assist in the process of removing the blocks to the love that exists within people; I know that I was meant to have the experiences I created in my life, so that I can relate to others who may be experiencing the same. Self Love

Letting go, being gentle with myself and being silly haven’t really been easy for me, not since childhood, but my angels and guides continue to help me understand that fun and play are not just something to do for the simple pleasure of it, but that acts of self-love, pleasure and fun are vital to leading a balanced and joyous life.  I have found a common theme amongst clients that I work with; people carry a significant amount of guilt over allowing ourselves to let loose, have fun, be silly relax ect.  We condition our minds often unconsciously to believe that life is hard, we must work all hours to be successful.

We convince ourselves that there isn’t enough time in the day to get important tasks done.  We believe we must work hard to “get some result “out there” that we think will make us happy, 

We set high standards for ourselves and then when we don’t feel we meet out goal, we sit in judgement, we blame ourselves and we create a type of hamster effect where we’re always in search of the elusive next result, and we certainly forget to love ourselves in the process.

I’ve made a pact with myself to be silly at least once a day,  I also set aside time everyday to honour myself – no matter how busy I am or what my deadlines are.  Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t easy especially on the nights that I feel I should keep working.  It takes effort, but I’ve spent years doing the opposite.  I already know that doesn’t work!  The more I can show myself forgiveness and compassion, the happier I feel.  And if I treat myself with respect, I will attract people who will treat me the same way.

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Learning To Say “No” With Love

For most of my life I believed saying no to someone was selfish, that somehow by saying no I wasn’t being spiritual or in the act of saying no I was giving up the chance to be of service to someone or something.  This in turn lead to feelings of guilt, an endless spiral of blaming myself or feeling bad for something I’d perceived I’d done “wrong,”    I worried endlessly that saying “no” somehow made me a bad person.  Especially if energetically I felt that the other person expected or needed me to say yes. Then, I felt  had no choice but to swallow my feelings and agree to what was being asked of me:

1) Because deep down I love helping people, it is so important to me to  be of service to others.

 

2) Because I just couldn’t bear the thought of  hurting or disappointing anyone – even people I didn’t know.

 

3) Because I was afraid to set boundaries.  I wanted people to like and approve of me

I had heard people speak about “owning your power” constructively, but I think I was too polite and soft – too much of a people-pleaser

to understand the difference between stepping into assertive power with kindness versus being afraid of becoming hard, mean, bitter and abusive of my personal power when using it with other people.

In the last year, I  have been on a deeply personal journey learning to accept myself for who I am, learning to embrace my psychic and intuitive gifts as part of my life purpose and my true calling.  Each is a process including learning to be comfortable saying “no” to certain  people or situations.  I am learning that sometimes saying no is the most loving thing to be done.   I’ve learned that I am not serving with pure intention and love if I say I will do something,, but deep down  feel uncomfortable.  That uncomfortable feeling is my intuition speaking up and telling me something doesn’t feel right.

sayno

Sometimes saying “no” is an act of self-care, and your intuition will tell you the difference between whether it is time to walk away from a situation completely  versus whether it is simply time for you to stay the course, face your fear step out of your comfort zone.  If you take the time to sit and stillness and get in touch with your genuine feelings, the  answer will come to you. I recently had an opportunity where I needed to say no.  It wasn’t an easy decision because I haven’t said no to many things personally or professionally.  This particular situation gave me the unmistakable message I needed to walk away.  My personal energy was depleted, I didn’t feel positive about the project in question, I wasn’t being treated with respect, and ultimately the clients highest good wasn’t being served the way things stood.   Saying no in this case was an act of love, done in the best interest of all with kindness and compassion.